Percival Alloysius Wilberforce Veer. Was the youngest of sixteen children (His parents never had a tele) Unfortunately for Percy all the elder ones were girls, meaning he lost out big time in the hand me down clothes stakes. In fact, on his first day a school he was dressed as Little Bo Peep. Upon leaving school he got a job at the Charlie Drake Memorial Zoo, in Darlaston. Where he was employed as an animal trainer. His job was to train big cats by example. So, he spent his days in a small cage pacing up and down while looking forlorn. He also used the same training method to train chimps to throw faeces at the public.
Phil Cuniffe. Phil was born into a mixed religion family, being the only child of a Catholic Mother and a Rabbi. Consequentially he attended St Cohens Primary School for the terminally gifted. Where it was discovered he had no musical ability what so ever, so it was suggested he become a drummer. It was during a school trip he met Percy. The Nuns and rabbiniyots (female Rabbis) used to take their charges to the aforementioned Charlie Drake Memorial Zoo, for the animals to look at.
Roxanne Anastasia Tatiana Svetlana Goldbergestein-Smith. Was the eldest daughter of Adolf and Wendy. During the war her parents smuggled her into Germany, realizing their mistake, they turned round and settled on the East Coast. As a child she was an accomplished violinist, but as she grew it became obvious she needed something bigger so her Father bought her a double bass.
Percy and Phil formed a duo, and started gigging regularly. They were spotted by Cecil Epstein (No relation) a local business man who had a successful second-hand fish stall on Bilston Market. Under Cecils guidance they recorded their debut album. Entitled The Percy Veer Bands Greatest Hit. The album was a huge success in the Far East. So, an extensive tour was undertaken. Norwich, Great Yarmouth, Ipswich, Beccles, etc. It was during this tour they first encountered Roxanne, they were busking outside Lowestoft Seamans Mission. She thought they were trying to muscle in on her patch and a fight ensured. When the dust settled she realized they were just struggling musicians. A persona they have managed to cultivate throughout their career. She thought that their sound was a trifle weak and would benefit from a little fattening up with some bass. So she joined the band, adding her distinctive bottom to the duo. (Sorry that should read distinctive bottom end.) The trio as we know and love today was now fully formed. Over the ensuing year such prestigious venues as The London Palladium, The Royal Albert Hall, and The 02 Arena Were just some of the venues they never played. However, their loss is our gain as tonight for one night only (Until the next time) We present The Percy Veer Band. Who will delight you with your favourite songs and tunes mangled to almost beyond recognition.
Celebrity Quotes
“Who” Pete Townsend
“Bloody hell are they still going? I thought they were dead” Mick Jagger
“Brilliant Musicians” Les Dawson
“Best band I have never seen” Stevie Wonder
Pictures: Wheatsheaf, Walsall, 2023
Bibliography: Alan Thompson
Percy Veer Band 